My story

[rever]

I had a childhood where my parents fought and sometimes I would have been held hostage by my mom against my father. Things were relatively stable till I was 9 then my parents started companies and lost a lot of money this caused complete chaos and was completely the fault of my mom . The next three years was basically me floating like a boat in the ocean as my living standard fell and school fees were delayed. Then I discovered fapping and used it as a crutch as academics were not a problem due to my IQ . This crutch continued for 3 years until my academics were falling due to excess time in porn and then screen time . I remember my highest screen time is like 17 hour. Then I decided that porn is the problem and the next year I discovered red pill at age 16 this made me implement a full scale contact abolition with women which in turn increased my dependence on pixel girls. Then this pixel women problem is not solved even today as I write I fapped twice. This caused me to fail at school and made me lose opportunity to better college and made me a fat ugly loser with reduced eyesite and cannot see anything without glasses.

Seeing this I asked myself where is the problem . Once I heard during an argument of parents that my mother had 3-4 times abortion before me and the only reason I am born is due to fact that my dad made her waste time so that I as fetus developed enough making it illegal to terminate me . This left me a trauma as I imagined my siblings being killed by my mom and how she kinda wanted to kill me.

Well even since I am born my mom used to exhibit typical feminist attitude while in the public she used to tell how great her marriage is but I knowing the truth knew she was lying but me being blue pilled shut my mouth. The pill effect reduced as I saw how my mother tortured my father and her disasters. When I was 10 in my school there was a couple dance event . I asked a beautiful girl to be my partner. She refused and instead became partner of the Chad who bullied me . She told all other girls that I am a creep and pervert. I had some trauma as I asked myself what went wrong as I did all the good guy stuff. I had to drop out of dance and on the day of event I was forced to go there due to my parents . I saw her being intimate with Chad during dance . Then on the day of language exam which I was poor at she said to me that she purposely choose Chad who bullied me to take revenge on me. I could not focus on exam and got failed as a result.

This many other experiences made me give up on women as I saw their defects and I substituted women for screentime . After puberty this took a serious toll as my refusal to bond with women caused me to to use pixel gals as objects of sperm release and coupled with my depressing life this continued till date

[General Alek]

wow

you belong here

[Tovarishcel]

17 hours is good number comrade.

I have very similar story i understand you, i am glad you found home here and feel safe sharing with us. we need to stay together and help each other in this cruel world