That time I took stupid SSRI to "fit in"
Posted: 10 Feb 2026, 13:07
When I was teenager the normies were performatively taking pharma. It was a culture all about boasting your mental issues. Whoever has more mental issues is considered higher status.
So I lived the days of Emo and goth subcultures, these things that you probably only heard in memes. I lived them in real life.
There was a trend among the youth to kill yourself, so the country I live in opened hospitals to treat the emo and goth people. I was thinking to myself, no institution ever gave a fuck about me. Institutions only give a fuck if you are a dangerous bully mafiaboi or a rich person.
these emo and goth people were RICH, super rich, they could afford clothing that costs a small fortune. These people were having access to alot of legal drugs and a discussion they had often within their circles was how many pills they were given.
If you are gven more pills = more troubled. You are "deep" and a psychologist follows you therefore you are "special and unique". The idea of suffering became a status symbol. If you got a therapist is a proof you are "complex" and "deep" and "interesting". Its like, you have to prove with actual paperwork done by a therapist that you have a personality, and only rich people were able to do it.
I have autism. I am on medication. I am being monitored. this is the mental health language I had to suffer when I was incel. Its all about identity branding no different than these people who own nike shoes and iphone. If you didnt take pharma = you cannot relate, you dont unerstand their pain youre outsider.
They could afford expensive clothes that looked "anti-system", I couldnt. They had access to psychiatrists, meds, care, I didnt. They can self-destruct because society was treating them a tragic and poetic teenagers, if I did it I would just suffer and rot and die.
Institutions dont respond to pain evenly, they respond to money and reputation. Some kids are "valuable" some arent. And I just was not part of the caste of society that is "valuable" I am instead a replaceable useless eater how the world economic forum would put it.
So one day I decided to "fit in" and I was so envious of these people. Mostly I noticed they get that juicy emo goth pussy I really wanted that pussy. I went to all the pharmacy stores, and finally one sold me an SSRI without prescription. The name is zoloft. I took it and heres what happens: my dick has a problem. I was masturbating on the internet as usual because I was incel, and I noticed my dick was unable to go back to sleep, it was staying hard. I went to read the situation, basically zoloft has this side effect, it makes your dick erect and it will not go down.
I had to snap my dick between my trousers, keep it erected for hours. pissing was a massive issue I just let you imagine.
But I was satisfied, because I had a taste of "the life" that these bastards were having. So I went on a normie forum and I started to posture as "deep" and I said I take pharma. They ask me what. I use zoloft. They laugh. Because turns out the pharma I was able to obtain isnt "hardcore" its just an entry level thing in the emo-goth cultures, they take much heavier drugs. So I even failed at integrating. I will never smell the emo-goth pussy because I am not "deep" and "complex" enough to be given pharma.
So I lived the days of Emo and goth subcultures, these things that you probably only heard in memes. I lived them in real life.
There was a trend among the youth to kill yourself, so the country I live in opened hospitals to treat the emo and goth people. I was thinking to myself, no institution ever gave a fuck about me. Institutions only give a fuck if you are a dangerous bully mafiaboi or a rich person.
these emo and goth people were RICH, super rich, they could afford clothing that costs a small fortune. These people were having access to alot of legal drugs and a discussion they had often within their circles was how many pills they were given.
If you are gven more pills = more troubled. You are "deep" and a psychologist follows you therefore you are "special and unique". The idea of suffering became a status symbol. If you got a therapist is a proof you are "complex" and "deep" and "interesting". Its like, you have to prove with actual paperwork done by a therapist that you have a personality, and only rich people were able to do it.
I have autism. I am on medication. I am being monitored. this is the mental health language I had to suffer when I was incel. Its all about identity branding no different than these people who own nike shoes and iphone. If you didnt take pharma = you cannot relate, you dont unerstand their pain youre outsider.
They could afford expensive clothes that looked "anti-system", I couldnt. They had access to psychiatrists, meds, care, I didnt. They can self-destruct because society was treating them a tragic and poetic teenagers, if I did it I would just suffer and rot and die.
Institutions dont respond to pain evenly, they respond to money and reputation. Some kids are "valuable" some arent. And I just was not part of the caste of society that is "valuable" I am instead a replaceable useless eater how the world economic forum would put it.
So one day I decided to "fit in" and I was so envious of these people. Mostly I noticed they get that juicy emo goth pussy I really wanted that pussy. I went to all the pharmacy stores, and finally one sold me an SSRI without prescription. The name is zoloft. I took it and heres what happens: my dick has a problem. I was masturbating on the internet as usual because I was incel, and I noticed my dick was unable to go back to sleep, it was staying hard. I went to read the situation, basically zoloft has this side effect, it makes your dick erect and it will not go down.
I had to snap my dick between my trousers, keep it erected for hours. pissing was a massive issue I just let you imagine.
But I was satisfied, because I had a taste of "the life" that these bastards were having. So I went on a normie forum and I started to posture as "deep" and I said I take pharma. They ask me what. I use zoloft. They laugh. Because turns out the pharma I was able to obtain isnt "hardcore" its just an entry level thing in the emo-goth cultures, they take much heavier drugs. So I even failed at integrating. I will never smell the emo-goth pussy because I am not "deep" and "complex" enough to be given pharma.